Red Menace

Everyone's favorite communists, the Cincinnati Reds, have upped the ante this year by bringing back a certain mustachioed mascot. He goes by the name Mr. Redlegs, and Mets fans should be thankful he doesn't play in the NL East, because this bold move is worth at least 8-10 wins over the course of a season. Yes, the mustache is that powerful, folks, especially on a mascot.

As if that weren't enough, we came across this image of Adam Dunn. What gives? What did we do to deserve this? Is Reds upper management reading Mandatory Mustache?

On a side note, we're not sure if these recent developments make it more or less likely for the Mets to accept our previously proposed new-look Mr. Met.

We know we don't have to tell you twice, dear reader, but this is serious. The Reds get it and they mean business. We're about to get left behind in the mustache race by the same team that fielded this man. Hopefully, we can turn it around before it's too late.