Thursday, May 8, 2008

"The Year of the Mustache"

Don't know how this one slipped by me...I follow the Diamondbacks and Marlins so closely...

According to Diamondbacks OF Eric Byrnes, 2008 is "the year of the mustache." During a recent 14-game hitting streak, Byrnes grew a little soup strainer. Sounds good, no? Well, he shaved it the day after the streak ended. Typical. Growing the mustache isn't the hard part, fellas. It's keeping it where we separate the men from the boys. Byrnes obviously doesn't understand how this works. The mustache isn't gonna make you Ty Cobb right off the bat. You've gotta show a little dedication.

In a related story, the entire Marlins bullpen recently decided to grow mustaches. My sources tell me there were even a couple handlebars. As much as I hate to admit it, this makes me extremely jealous. Come on, Mets bullpen! Scott Schoeneweis is trying to show you the way, but you obviously aren't listening. Anyway, they allowed 9 runs in 4 innings and shaved them all off. Hmm...yeah...great idea, guys. The mustaches were surely the problem. Oh, please tell me how well you played after you shaved. What's that? You blew it again? Shocker.

As fellow NL East-ers I guess we should be happy. A bullpen of mustaches in our division would have been extremely dangerous.

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